Finances are one area that people have a hard time talking about. That means that is you can learn to communicate and work together you can also help your marriage.
Love and Money: probably two of the hardest things to combine. Before we were married we had our own ways of dealing with our money. We grew up in different households and learned from different parents. Then we got married and had to figure out how to pay bills together, save money together and even how to go shopping at the grocery store together.
Money is one of those areas where many marriages can get into trouble. In fact, finances are the #1 cause of stress on a relationship. This is not usually because of the lack of money, but because of disagreements about what to do with it and a lack of communication about it.
The solution: The Money Meeting. Meet with your spouse or significant other at least once a month to discuss your finances. You should put this on your calendar, after the kids go to bed, but not too late. Even if you are single, you can still do this with yourself or a trusted friend.
A few things to talk about:
- What happened last month
- What is expected next month
- Your dreams & goals for the future.
You can make this as fun and exciting as you want so try to make it judgement free so each person can be open to discussing. You can include dessert, or other incentives to make sure it happens. The first 2 or 3 meetings may be uncomfortable, but the more often you make this happen the easier it will get. Trust us when we say it works, keep reading!
We try to set aside time on a Sunday evening, when we can put the kids to bed on time, get out the ice cream and pull up the websites for our bank accounts, credit card and investment accounts. We look at how much we have in our accounts, how much we spent last month and what purchases may have derailed our budget. Then we talk about what expenses we have coming up next month such as the kids sports, summer camps, home or auto repairs and other needs we may have.
The best part is our spreadsheet where we list all of our goals, wants and dreams. These include gifts, home upgrades, vacations and anything else we can think of. This does not mean that we will get all of the things listed, but it does give us lots of ideas to look forward to, reasons to save and we know what to do when we get more money. This helps us stay focused on what we really want instead of just spending everything we make. Sometimes we even number the list in order of importance, set possible dates of completion and estimated costs.
A SUCCESS Story: During one of these Money Meetings a few years ago, my wife mentioned her dream of being on the beach of Hawaii on her 40th birthday. We put it on the list, started a savings account with an online bank and setup an automatic transfer from our checking to savings every month. We did not even miss the $100/month and we were able to make it happen last month! Happy Birthday Meredith! If it was not for these meetings and dreaming about the future, it probably would not have happened.
What can you accomplish with your Money Meetings?
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